


by keeping the divide

by AllegoriesInMediasRes



Series: Mary I of England: AU stories [9]
Category: 16th Century CE RPF, Historical RPF, The Tudors (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Background Polyamory, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by Fanfiction, OT3, Period-Typical Homophobia, Warnings for some pretty unsavory attitudes about the link between the aforementioned tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 14:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18875455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllegoriesInMediasRes/pseuds/AllegoriesInMediasRes
Summary: Circa 1543. Thomas Seymour’s handprints still burn on Princess Mary Tudor’s wrists and arms, and even as Thomas Cromwell of all people attempts to reassure her, Mary must consider the links between the past and the present.Inspired by Lil/mihrsuri’s fics “Rewrite the Stars for You” and “It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn”.





	by keeping the divide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mihrsuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihrsuri/gifts).
  * Inspired by [It's Always Darkest (Before The Dawn)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15885693) by [mihrsuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihrsuri/pseuds/mihrsuri). 



> Set in Chapter 11 of Lil/mihrsuri’s fic “Darkest Before the Dawn”. Warnings for references to past rape and child abuse, and some unfortunately period-typical homophobia on Mary’s part. :/
> 
> Title from the Hozier fanfic title generator.

She is almost ashamed to admit it, but when the Duke of Essex reveals the true nature of what brought the Earl of Norwich to the scaffold, her first thought is _So that is why you turned out the way you did._

It is not strictly _fair_ to blame Cromwell for everything, when he, Father, and Anne are all equally involved in their affair. But if she is to keep this secret, to imperil her immortal soul and allow bastards to usurp her place in the succession, all her rage must go _somewhere._ And Cromwell is the third person, the third wheel, the interloper in their marriage and at court and in so many ways, and it is easier to direct all her ire onto him than onto the father whom she still reveres even if she is uneasy around him, and the stepmother whom she has come to regard as a second mother. Easier to think of Cromwell as the grasping, heretical _sodomite_ who crawled out of the gutters and seduced the king and queen both.

(Yet even in the depths of her disgust, she had not been able to deny the quiet, steady love he bears her father, stepmother, and all their children. His loyalty and his intelligence, the way her siblings and her parents love him, how he has always been courteous and respectful of her even if he has planted his bastards in front of her. She had seen it, had come to trust him even as she resented him, enough that she summoned him and no one else on this horrible night so that he might be the first one to hear it.)

But when he shares the truth of his own childhood, Mary’s first thought is that it all makes _sense._ That the Earl of Norwich is responsible for corrupting Cromwell like this, for infusing him with unnatural lusts and desires, for breaking him while he was so young and making him into what he is today.

But then Mary is ashamed, because if Cromwell is who he is because of the Earl of Norwich, then who made her father that way? Is her father similarly corrupted? And whatever her father has been or hasn’t been to her, she could never think of him that way. And if what Norwich _did_ to Cromwell left him as he _is_ , what will Thomas Seymour’s handprints leave on her?

 _No_ , she cries out in her mind. That man will have _nothing_ of her, he wanted to possess her utterly and make her into his own creature, and he will not touch her, will not shape her, will not get one inch of what he hoped to have.

_And does Norwich get to have one bit of Master Cromwell?_

And then Mary is even more ashamed, because if it was difficult for her to speak of Seymour, when it was just the once and she managed to escape permanent harm, when she is a princess (mostly) secure in her family’s love, how much more difficult must it be for the Duke of Essex, when he was a child, when he was an urchin on the streets of Putney, when it went on for _years,_ and it was years more before he saw justice done? And yet he spoke of it, for no other reason than to ease her mind, when he knows she bears him little love. He did that for her, and she sits across from him and what she takes away from this conversation is _so that is why you turned out the way you did._

She turns her mind firmly from such considerations and instead focuses on his assurances that while her father’s anger was terrible, it fell firmly on Norwich’s head and no one else’s. All the scriptures, all her sensibilities tell her that affection of this sort between two men is a twisted, rotting canker… and yet only the strongest and purest sort of Christian loves could have borne such a revelation without blame or condemnation. _He did not blame Cromwell; he will not blame me. Anne saw to it that I was restored to my rightful position; Master Cromwell will see to it that Thomas Seymour’s sins do not become my own._

She is reassured, yes, but she is still revolted, and the tale sends her to her privy chamber, emptying her supper until there is nothing left. Mary wipes her mouth and rises on shaky limbs, trying to compose herself before she returns to her chambers where Cromwell waits. _Father still loves Thomas Cromwell despite the Earl of Norwich. Cromwell turned out the way he did despite Norwich, not because of it. Father and Anne will still love me despite Thomas Seymour, and I will still be as I am despite him._


End file.
